Hello my lady,
What's happened to your eyes?
It's not even night time,
And you're already awake.
God made it,
You destroyed it,
You've created nothing out of something.
I'll be waiting here,
Until your eyes roll back,
And your eyes roll back,
And your eyes roll back inside.
You've got to let go,
With a bottle in one hand,
And a bottle in the other,
You're getting tired, dear.
This crystal ain't worth shit,
You're growing twice as old each day.
You were beautiful, beautiful,
What happened to you?
You gave up on everyone else.


Suggestions on how to improve it would be nice. It doesn't seem quite right in its current state.

Angst/10

Sad.

For some reason I read this as a song (I was singing it in my head, it sounded good :P) - was it supposed to be just a poem?


Suggestion: take out the swear and figure out something else to do there. LAWL RHYME

Change the "Algernon" to something else, maybe a curse word would fit well.

XD

Uhhh, as I was writing it, it kinda flowed out as a sort of a spokenish interlude-type thing (if you've ever heard Project 86's interlude things, that's kinda what I was going for), but I haven't really settled on a particular style.

Also, changed the filter.

That's not what I meant.

But whatever.

This crystal ain't worth the fear!

...

I dunno what the theme of this is supposed to be but it rhymes

Substance abuse, doof.

SEND IT TO GREG

cuz

hes a drunken and high hobo

"Algernon" that was fixed to "shet" now properly fixed to maximize comprehension and whatnot and whatnot.

Huzzah for playing with tags and messing with the filter.

lygr ur awsum can u hax bzp 4 me??????????? i will pay u........ in PIE!!!!! lol